I once pissed off a sour witch

While stirring a pot, she cursed and bitched

She raised her arm and shook her fist

“To hell with you! You’re on my list!”

Embers sparkled, rose, and died

From blazing coals to midnight sky

With cackling laugh, and drooling spit

She chanted words of magic writ

Then withered bony fingers thrust

She sprinkled ash and pixie dust

beetle bread and lizard tongue

Bat wings, eyes and turtle dung

As her Cauldron simmered on the fire

My heart grew weak with strange desire

I felt a twinge, and then a spark

I needed blood, then all grew dark

I woke up to the sound of rain

My belly ached and writhed in pain

Tattered sheets and broken bed

The shirt I wore was stained with red

The church bells rang, the people cried

They say someone in the village died.

The mayor spoke, the townsfolk yelled

“We’ll send the killer straight to hell!”

A proclamation was issued thus

To the perpetrator oh so murderous

Hang ’em from the neck till he’s dead

Cut off his balls, chop off his head.

I was taken to ye old town square

Clad only in my cap and underwear.

beaten, bruised and placed in shackles

Within the crowd I could hear her cackles

They put the noose across my head

Pulled the rope, proclaimed me dead.

The final words I heard them say

The beast is gone. hip hip hurray!

And as I lay there stiff and cold

Beneath the fallen leaves and mold

Heed my warning if you wish

Never piss off a sour witch