I see you guys bickering on my deck

Beaks flapping, toothpick talons grappling

A pack of dumpy dull females going at it

Mid air fluttering, all ado over that bird

He sits, watching you make fools of yourselves

His bright red plumage, suave cool demeanor

He’s mine, He’s mine! you will chirp

Peep peep peep, fuckin peep

Give it a rest you trailer park birds!

Scaring away the chickadees who wait patiently

And spilling seeds all over the damned place

If I had a fly swatter…I’d

Oh fuck, now you did it!

Get the fuck off my porch you nasty squirrel!

I sling the screen door open with a bang

The bastard nearly escapes as I snatch his tail hairs

I take the feeders down from their hooks

Head cocked, you guys stare in disbelief

Fluttering past the screen 

But what about the seeds?