Suzanne was busy making breakfast for Hank and Bella as I sat at the table pouring over want ads in the paper.

“Come on, Hank. You need to eat something before you go to school,” Suzanne said as she was buttering some toast.

“I ain’t hungry, Mom.”

“You gotta eat something. You look like you are just skin and bones. At least eat an egg. Boys your age need protein.”

“Ughhhh,” sigh, “Okay. If it will make you happy.”

Bella was sitting at the table finishing her breakfast and said, “Those eggs were laid by our chickens. I found five this morning.”

“That’s cool, Bella,” said Hank as he sat down quickly and gulped down the egg off the plate.

Buddy was pacing at the back door then let out a bark. “You gotta go out again?” I said looking up from the paper. Buddy started to bounce around excitedly as I got up and opened the door.

“Hank, did you get your homework done last night?” said Suzanne

“Most of it.”

“How come you didn’t do all of it?”

“I don’t know,” said Hank as he looked down. “I kinda…”

“Momma, is it time for the bus?” said Bella.

Suzanne looked over at the clock. “Oh shit! We gotta go. Grab your jackets. Can’t let you miss the bus again,” she screamed. They jumped up from their chairs and raced towards the door. “Be back in a second, Travis.”

“Bye, Travis!” Bella yelled as she ran to the door.

“You kids have a good day,” I said just as the door slammed shut. The car drove off and all became quiet. I enjoy mornings like this with all the excitement and rush. Ben left for Knoxville this past weekend to play in his band. Suzanne seemed a little upset this weekend. For the last month I’d been the moody one, moping around the house and blaming myself for Jeff’s death, but now Suzanne didn’t seem her normal happy self.

I heard the car return and then I heard the screen door opening and Buddy running towards the kitchen.

“Hey, my Buddy!” I said patting his wet sides. “Feels like you’ve been running through the tall grass.”

Suzanne walked in out of breath. “We just barely made it. I had to blow the horn to get the bus to stop. It was pulling away just as I got there,” she said rubbing her hair. She let out a heavy sigh and sat down.

“You doing okay, Suzanne?”

“Yeah, why do you ask?”

“Well, I noticed that you seem a bit down this weekend. How are you and Ben getting along?”

She rubbed her head and groaned, “Has Ben said anything?”

“Uh, no.”

Suzanne grabbed a chair and sat down beside me. “Travis I know that you and Ben are best friends, but if I tell you something, will you promise to just keep this strictly between us?”

My curiosity was aroused. “Sure, Suzanne. You’re my close friend also.”

“Thanks. I think I’ve fallen in love with Ben. He’s one of the kindest most loving, handsome man I’ve ever been with. He’s great with the kids and he treats me wonderfully, but I’ve noticed little things that don’t seem to make sense. Like,the main problem is that he’s got this secret self that he keeps from me. Well you probably know Ben better than anyone. I really don’t know anything about his past life, his family, where he went to school. All I know is that he said he’s from Paintsville and that his family’s dead.  

“Yeah, well that has always been a mystery to me as well. I just figured that it must’ve been painful and he didn’t feel like talking about it.”

“Well I’ve thought the same thing,” she said. “There’s something else I kinda want to ask you but don’t quite know how to say it.”

“What do you mean?”

Suzanne looked a little embarrassed and fidgety, “Well it’s kinda personal, but I thought you might understand. Do you know if Ben’s using any sort of drug besides pot? When we have sex, I feel like I’m on acid. Colors seem brighter, I see tracers, I hallucinate. The sex is wonderful, but it scares me sometimes.  Ben’s also very insistent on using condoms and I have no problem with that. The other day we had a talk and I told him I was on the pill. I suggested that we both go get tested for STDs and such and Ben seemed a bit shocked. I never see him worried about anything. He eventually tried to change the subject. That kinda made me start to think that maybe he was trying to hide something from me. So what I’m trying to get at is… Has Ben ever mentioned that he has some STD like herpes, hepatitis or HIV? I mean, if he does, I can live with using protection, but I just wish he could tell me. Please do not tell Ben anything I just told you.”

“I promise I won’t Suzanne. Ben hasn’t told me anything like that. I’ve never had a reason to ask him either. I might not know much about Ben’s past, but I’ve always felt that I could trust him. I can’t imagine him doing anything to cause anyone harm.”

She shook her head and sighed, “Oh well, I hope it’s something we can eventually talk about. This little thing is starting to bother me. Thanks for listening to me Travis.”

“No problem, Suzanne, and your secret’s safe with me.”

“Well, I need to get myself ready for work before I’m late.” She gathered some of her things and put the dishes in the sink and then headed for the stairs. I sat there and thought about what Suzanne has said. I thought back to this summer when Ben kept that bottle of bleach handy in case he cut himself. So worried about his blood spilling on the wood and now doesn’t want to get tested for STDs. I thought back to that tiny piece of scrap wood I found with the drops of blood, the roots and the sprouting leaves. Now this mystery was stuck in my mind.