If there is one thing that’s common to all small towns, it’s that everyone seems to know everyone else’s business. Gossip moves as fast as the speed of light or so they say. This is no different for a small town with just two stop lights like Millersburg. Gossip, like a virus, mutates and spreads its evil wherever it may travel.

After the party, the information sat on people’s minds and festered. Most people just asked, “Who is Jeff Stewart and Travis McAllister? For most people, it was just a trivial tidbit to make a simple gay joke, but for others, it lay heavy on their minds.

The next morning Steve Pearl was still lying in bed when his mom entered his room. His dark brown hair was a mess and he lay on top of his covers with all his clothes still on.

“Are you gonna stay in bed all day? she said putting clean clothes in his drawers.

He stretched and yawned. “I was up way late last night Mom.”

“Out drinking I bet. You should go to church with us this morning. It would do you good.”

“Nah, that stuff ain’t for me…Oh by the way,” he said with a chuckle, “You remember Derek and Chet Claypool? Well I just found out that their cousin Jeff Stewart’s a fag.”

“What? Why would you say something like that? I know the Stewarts, they go to our church. You shouldn’t be spreading rumors like that,” she said in an angry tone.

“Well it’s true, his cousin Chet said he saw Jeff kissin’ this guy named Travis while they were cutting tobacco and they were going at it right there in the field,” he said snickering.

His mom put her hand to her mouth, “Oh my! I feel so sorry for his parents and I’ll be seeing them this morning in church. I won’t know what to say to them,” she said covering her mouth as if in shock.

“I think it’s funny as hell. Damned queers,” said Steve as he rolled back over. “You enjoy church mom. I’m going back to sleep.”

At around 9am on Sunday morning Mr and Mrs Stewart, walked into the Millersburg First Baptist church along with their son, Jeff. As they entered and walked down the aisle towards the pews, the people who were already there grew silent and stared as they took their seats. They felt the elephant in the church. No one said anything, but whispering could be heard and a few snickers. They looked about, wondering what the big secret was. Mrs Claypool sat on the other side of the pew from them. She nervously said hello, but it was a bit distant. More people arrived and settled into the pews. The young, heavy-set preacher in his 30s with short hair and a trimmed goatee and glasses took to the podium.

“Please stand and open your hymnals to page 94. Softly and Tenderly…”

After three songs had been sung, the young preacher named Brother Morrell took to the podium. He adjusted his glasses and looked right at Jeff.

“Please be seated. Today I want to talk to you about choices. God in his infinite wisdom endowed humans with the gift of free will. God didn’t want us to be like bees or robots, only programed to obey. As God’s children, He wanted us to come to Him of our own free will. He is truly a loving God. However, God exists in a holy realm and no one can enter heaven with the stain of sin. People can chose to do what they know to be the right thing, or they can chose to do the wrong thing, but in the end God judges us all by the choices we make in our lives. Let us open our Bibles and turn to James 1: 12-15.” He opened his Bible and looked around the room.

“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.  When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone;  but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death,”said Rev. Morrell as he read from his Bible.

“Now we all know of those who have been tempted by evil. Each and everyone of us has been tempted. The Lord tells us to turn away from temptation. And no temptation is so great that we are not able to bear it.

In 1 Corinthians 10:13 it says, “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it..”

Brother Morrel ranted on about sin and it led him to talk about homosexuality. As Jeff sat in the pews with his parents he felt many eyes were upon him. He gazed straight ahead acting as if he didn’t notice the looks from the congregation. “How could they know?” he thought. “Maybe it is just my imagination.” He couldn’t hear the words of the preacher any longer. It became a blur. He caught words such as homosexual, and abomination. Jeff wanted to be anywhere but here at this moment. He felt an overpowering sense of shame. He looked up towards the stained glass windows and saw the church no longer as something holy and good, but saw God as a horrible tyrant. It was all tainted. As he thought back to the night of passion he and Travis shared, a knot formed in his gut and made him feel queasy. Jeff felt the blood leave his face and felt weak. He searched his mind. “How do they know? Could someone have seen us?”

At the end of the sermon the people filed out towards the door shaking the preachers hand. His parents got up walking towards the door looking a bit confused.

His dad looked at his mom and said, “What is going on? They’re acting as if someone died.”

Jeff kept quiet and looked straight ahead following his mom towards the door. The preacher smiled and patted people on the back and shoulder as they passed by, but when Mr and Mrs Stewart got to the door the preacher shook their hand and quickly looked towards the couple following them not even acknowledging Jeff as he walked right past.

Mrs Stewart whispered to her husband, “Well, that was rude.”

On the ride home, Jeff sat in the backseat of their car sitting motionless.

“What in the hell was wrong with everyone today? They acted as if we had murdered someone. Jeff do you have any idea what happened?”said his father.

“No, Dad, I have no idea.”

Around 3:00 pm on Sunday afternoon, Tiffany Harrington got a call from her friend Amy Barns. She said she had been talking to her friend Angela who was there at Todd’s party.

“Oh my God! Do you know Jeff Stewart?”

“No”

“Well, you know Chet Claypool right?, Derek’s brother? Well he’s Jeff’s cousin and Angela said she heard Chet say that he saw Jeff having sex with a guy named Travis McAllister while they was cutting tobacco. Well anyway Derek drove off drunk and pissed after he found out.”

“Wow, is Derek gay also? Was he like jealous or something?”

“Don’t be silly Tiffany. Derek’s totally straight. He was my boyfriend for years and I should know. And he was on the football team and everyone knows homos don’t play football.”

“That is funny. So does Jeff act all like, hey girl friend, and wear make-up and stuff?”

“I don’t know. I just heard what Angela told me. So are you ready for school next week? Me and my momma are going clothes shopping this afternoon in Lexington. Momma said I can get some new Calvin Klein’s.”

“Oh man, I want to go. Can you ask your mom if I can go along?”

”Yeah I’ll ask her.”

“Good I’ll call back later.”

That night Derek called Jeff on the phone. His mom picked up and answered the phone.

“How are you Derek? I haven’t seen you in a while. How’s your mom?…Good…Yeah.. of sure…Okay well here’s Jeff.”

Jeff picked up the phone. “Hello?” There was a silence.

“Jeff I need to ask you something.”

“Yeah, what’s up?”Derek sounded a bit strange.

“Well maybe that’s what I should be asking you.”

“‘Wwwwhat do you mean?” Jeff said nervously.

“Dude, I was at Todd Johnson’s party the other night and we were getting drunk and stuff but then Chet starts telling these girls this story about you.”

“Uhhhh, what kind of story?” Jeff said nervously?

“Well it had something to do with you and that guy we work with named Travis.”

At that moment the color washed from his face and his heart pounded. Jeff felt his knees getting weak. He couldn’t speak.

“Hello? Jeff are you there?”

“Uhhhh uhhh yeah.”

“Jeff, Is it true?…Are you gay?”

The words hung in the air. A feeling of panic came over Jeff at that moment. Jeff looked around to see if his parents were looking.

“Jeff I thought you were my friend. Is it true? Are you a faggot?”

“I…I can’t talk about this right now.”

Click. The phone went dead. Jeff stood holding the phone in shock. His mom called out from the TV room.

“Jeff, what did Derek want?”

He tried to compose himself and said, “Oh he just wanted to tell me that we would be working at another farm tomorrow…”

“Did he want to you to give him a ride or something?”

“No, that is all he had to say.”

“Hey Jeff “Touched By An Angel” is coming on. Come watch it with us.”

“No thanks, Dad. I’m feeling kinda tired.”

“Honey are you okay.”

“Yes, mom, I am still kinda sore from housing t’bacca,” Jeff said as he hurried towards the bathroom. He turned on the fan, ran to the toilet and threw up his dinner. He wiped his mouth and stood looking at himself in the mirror. “Fuck! Fuck! What am I gonna do?  My life is over!” he said as he shook his fists and squinted his eyes. The tears poured down his eyes. “How do I face the guys at work after this? They must all know by now. They’ll be staring at me, judging me. What will Mom and Dad say when they find out? Just a matter of time now. My life is over!” he thought. Jeff flushed the toilet and went to his bedroom. He lay in bed with his clothes on all night staring at the ceiling.

The next morning his mom knocked on the door.

“Jeff, isn’t it about time you got up and got ready for work?”

“I don’t feel like going to work today mom.”

“Don’t you think you should call your boss and tell him that you aren’t coming in?”

“Yeah, I’ll call him mom,” Jeff said breathing rapidly trying to get up the courage to make the call. He walked into the kitchen and called the number.

“Uhh Mrs Layson. Yeah, this is Jeff. yeah uh huh…well could you tell Mr Layson that I can’t make it to work today. I’m feeling sick. Yeah.. okay bye.”

Jeff slunk back to his bedroom. His mom walked in seeing Jeff curled up in a fetal position.

“Honey, where are you hurting. You have a fever or anything?”

“No mom, just having stomach problems.”

“Oh my, Do you think it might have been the chicken? Your father complained about his stomach yesterday. It might have been the chicken salad.”

“I don’t think so mom. Probably something else.”

“Anything I can get you?”

“No thanks mom, I just need to sleep.”

Travis showed up at work that Monday morning at another part of the farm. He parked his truck and walked over to Elmer who was sharpening his knife.

“Am I late?” Travis asked.

“Nope, you’re early. You kin go head n start ifn you want to.” Phtttt! Elmer said as he spat while chewing his tobacco.

Travis grabbed a knife out of the box and sharpened it with a file. Elmer headed towards the field. Travis followed behind and started cutting. He had cut about 15 sticks by the time Derek, Chet and Leonard showed up. Travis felt good that he had a decent head start. He was proud of himself for being able to get faster at cutting.

The day got hot and humid as usual. The sun shone brightly. He kept looking back occasionally to see if he could see Jeff, but he was nowhere to be seen. He needed a drink and walked back towards the trucks. As he passed the other guys he said,

“Did Jeff show up today?”

Leonard looked up and answered, “Nope, called in sick.”

As he walked towards the truck he thought he heard someone say “Fuckin faggot” under their breath. Travis looked back but couldn’t tell if he actually heard what he thought he heard. Travis felt in an awkward position. He started to wonder if somehow they had been seen. He tried to dismiss it as his imagination. After getting a drink he walked back past the others. He saw them talking and as he got closer, they stopped. Travis felt as if they had been talking about him. He looked forward and went back to cutting.

Lunch time came and everyone gathered at the trucks. Travis noticed that people were staring. They were friendly with each other yet no one said a word to him. Derek, Chet and Leonard took another truck. He got in the back of Mr Layson’s truck with Elmer.

“What the fuck’s up wit dis crew. Dem boys been actin strange all mornin. All whispern ‘n shit,” Elmer said all flustered.

“You have any idea what it is?” Travis said wiping his forehead.

“No idea. Seems like somethins up with Jeff, but couldn’t hear what dey was sayin.”

Travis felt nervous as he rode in the back of the truck towards Mr Layson’s house. The truck stopped and Travis and Elmer jumped off the back. He could see the others walking in the front door. Travis hesitated a second but took a breath and walked towards the door. Once inside he waited till most of the guys had left the restroom. When he walked in Elmer was drying his hands.

“Dere’s the soap Travis. You bein kinda pokey. Ain’t you hungry?”

Travis walked into the kitchen and Mrs Layson smiled and said, “Go on Travis grab you a plate.”

He dished up a few things and turned towards the table. He saw that Mr Layson and Earl were busy eating. Derek was eating but didn’t look in Travis’s direction. Leonard took a quick glance and had a snarl on his face. Chet stared at Travis as if he were observing something serious. Travis and some of the other’s noticed the  silence in the room.

Mrs Layson spoke up and said, “Mercy, everyone is so quiet today. Normally you guys would be chatting up a storm.”

Tom looked up and said, “Yeah, I did notice it was all quiet today. What’s up with you boys?”

Derek looked up and said, “I guess we ain’t got nothin much to say.”

“Well I do. Cut it out. We’re doing good. I reckon we be finished with all this shit in a couple of days. Y’all gonna be missin Mrs Tammy’s cookin’,” said Tom taking a bite of chicken.

“Damn right. I ain’t had such good eatin fo lunch any where I be workin,” said Elmer. “My wife can’t cook worth shit.”

There was a few chuckles.

“Thanks Mrs Layson I appreciate the trouble you all went through for lunch,” said Chet. Everyone agreed.

After lunch there wasn’t much talk. Most of the guys were either too tired or just didn’t care by the end of the day. Travis said goodbye to Elmer while the other guys kept to themselves and got in their own vehicles and headed home.

Travis got behind the wheel of his truck and followed the others out the gate. He picked his mind trying to remember if someone could have seen him and Jeff kissing or showing any type of affection. He rode the rest of the way home thinking about that moment when he thought he heard the word faggot. It was an uncomfortable feeling. Something that he had experienced before and never quite come to terms with. “I’m not going to live in fear. I’m not going to let these ass holes intimidate me,” he said. “God, I hate coming out or being outed, but damn! This is my home now.” He turned on the radio and let it blast as he flew down the backroads towards home.

It was very dark when Travis got out of the car. He walked inside and saw Suzanne.

“How was your day?”

“Not so good actually. Well I might as well tell you. There’s guy at work. His name’s Jeff and well we kinda hit it off and had this little thing going.”

Suzanne smiled and said, “That doesn’t sound so bad. So what is wrong?”

“Well I go into work today and most of the guys are all quiet and staring at me. Jeff wasn’t there today and I think that had something to do with it. I walked past the guys to get a drink of water and thought I heard them call me a faggot.”

She said oh and put her hand to her mouth.

“I think somehow they found out. I was telling Jeff to be more careful at work, but looks like we weren’t careful enough.”

“I’m so sorry Travis.”

“Yeah me too. Sorry for Jeff. He must be freaking out right now. He’s not used to this. His parents are very religious and he’s way in the closet. I think I need to call and see if he’s okay,” he said.

Suzanne walked up to Travis and gave him a big hug. “Have I ever told you how sweet you are?” Travis said.

Travis looked through the telephone book and found the number for Mr Paul Stewart. He dialed the number and a woman answered.

“Is this Mrs Stewart?”

“Yes, who’s calling?”

“Mrs Steward this is Travis. I’ve been working cutting tobacco with Jeff. I was wondering if I could get him to come to the phone. I heard he was sick.”

“Oh sure, I will see if he is awake… Jeff, Jeff honey. There is a guy named Travis wanting to talk to you. Okay…sure okay…Travis, Jeff said he isn’t feeling good. He can’t come to the phone. Is there a message I can give him?”

“Yes, tell him I hope he feels better and tell him to call me when he feels better. He has my number”

Travis got off the phone feeling a bit worried. “I hope he’s okay.”

And thus the bitter seed was sown, and the sleepy town of Millersburg along with the rest of the nation, spent one final night in innocent slumber.