Oh my god,

The internet is up in arms.

All the fuss over such a silly thing

Regal gay clowns reading to children

Not just any clown, mind you

big Amazon Drag Queens 

You know, the scary type

Cher, Bettie Davis, Joan Crawford look alikes

Big Texas hair, Tammy Fae Makeup

And fake plastic titties

Stuffed inside chiffon gowns.

I had no idea this was a thing

Until recently I thought these extravagant sots

were confined to smoke filled bar rooms 

singing and dancing their way to a drunken stupor

Instead, performing to impressionable young minds

eager to hear stories and observe exaggerated femininity.

Parents and concerned citizens in a panic

Flapping their feathers like Chicken Little

Groomers, groomers they will holler.

But this really isn’t about pedophilia, 

even though they want you to believe it is.

No, this is all about homophobic transphobic Evangelical fear

They’s afraid that their young innocent lads

Once exposed to the mere presence of the male feminine

Will burst forth from their cocoons, 

skipping, prancing, and lisping to the tune of Hello Dolly!

God forbid children question their gender identity

Or be anything other than what the parents desire.

Existing outside the confines gender roles

Is something they just won’t abide.

Despite religion being forced down their throats

And young minds raped by bitter doctrines.

Just the same old shit wrapped in a new package.

Unfairly linking queer to pedophilia

And forcing shame upon us for no reason.

Love the sinner hate the sin my ass.

It’s neither Christ-like or good.

But where was the outrage of conservative drag?

They say go Make America Great all over Again

When our founding fathers wore high heels and powdered wigs.

And stars like Bob Hope, Milton Berle, even and Guiliani

wore make up, wigs, and fake plastic titties.