A cold drizzle hung over central Kentucky as I drove home on the narrow road between Lexington and Paris. Both sides of the road were lined with white wooden fences of the wealthy thoroughbred horse farms. I’d been shopping for plumbing supplies and had Buddy in the truck with me. Just past the halfway point, a big semi was tailgating me. Knowing this stretch of road was famous for traffic deaths, I clutched the steering wheel tighter as I drove in the rain.

Without warning, I found myself slipping away. “Oh please not here,” I said to myself. Having no shoulder to pull over, I took a deep breath. The world slowed to a crawl. I hated not being in control.

I found myself sitting on the ground, alone in a foggy field surrounded by dead shrubs. Something rough brushed past my leg. It was the shrubs themselves that were moving. A slimy, greenish yellow head streaked with brown with two long eye stalks rose from within the mass of tangled thorns, slug-like with a large gaping mouth. It moaned with a low gurgling, Ahhhhh sound. It’s head stretched towards me. I jumped away and felt another one  of those prickly things behind me. I tried to flee but there was nowhere to run. I closed my eyes and tried to wish myself back, but I remained and the thorny sheep were trying to attach themselves to me with their eye stalks. I leap-frogged over the creatures. They  were a bit slow and so I managed to reach a bare patch of ground and ran.

From a distance I saw the beasts more clearly, standing nearly four feet tall with thorny wool-like projections that made them look like tumbleweeds with a solid core, legs and a head stalk. They were slowly migrating in a big herd, like sheep. In the grass, strange little red toads hopped about repeating the words “forty nine, forty nine, forty nine,” in  rough raspy voices. I wandered past the herd and spotted a glowing trail of firefly light. Nearly a dozen shadowy people followed off to the side of the trail keeping a distance. They seemed to be unaware of my presence. I called out to them, but they ignored me and continued to walk as if in a dream.

I closed my eyes again tightly praying for it to be over. This time, the world returned and I found myself back behind the wheel of my truck, as if nothing had happened. I slowed down and thankfully the semi passed me on the left. I needed to get home as soon as possible since I was in no condition to drive. I stopped on the outskirts of Paris and let Buddy out to pee at the Dairy Queen. After a few minutes, I decided not to drive through downtown  by taking  the bypass around Paris.

As I entered, Millersburg I felt as if I could make it the rest of the way home. My truck idled at the first stoplight as an elderly woman crossed the road in front of me, with a young child. She turned her head, smiled and once again I felt another wave coming over me as before. Everything froze in place. The other world reappeared as before. I sat in a fog of static as blurred images appeared and vanished before my eyes. The buildings appeared in various semi-transparent forms as well as a forest. The shrub creatures were gone and I was able to walk about freely without bumping into them. I wondered if I was having some sort of psychotic break, schizophrenia, or perhaps my pot had been laced with some drug. I screamed into the void, “Stop this! Stop it, stop it!”  My words echoed and became distorted like the doppler effect of a siren, or a train passing by quickly . I looked around in all directions. It was hard to see very far because of the fog. I heard some shrieking noise in the distance. I looked up and saw a huge dark shape with wings flapping like a bat. I sat down upon the ground and closed my eyes tightly. “Please go away, please go away.” I whispered. I sat and waited for what seemed like a long time, before finally returning back to my frozen body, where I waited till things started to move normally. The old lady was still crossing the road, when I decided it best to turn around and drive to  Ben’s house.

I pulled into Ben’s driveway, got out with Buddy, and walked to his door. I knocked a few times then yelled, “Ben, Ben if you’re there, I need to talk to you. Ben!” His motorcycle was parked in the driveway. I walked around back towards the creek. Buddy ran ahead and then I heard a big splash. Ker plunk! As I got closer I heard Ben say, “Hey Buddy. What are you doing here?”

“He’s with me Ben. Can I talk to you? I’m not feeling too good.”

He swam towards me and arose naked from the muddy bank, walking briskly past the tall weeds that lined the shore.

“What’s wrong, Travis?”

I approached Ben with jittery knees and a pounding heart. I hugged Ben and buried my head in his chest.

“What’s wrong pal?”

“Ben I think I’m going crazy. I mean seriously going crazy. I’m having blackouts and hearing voices. I can’t control it.”

Ben held me tight. “Come on inside, Travis. I’ll fix you some hot tea and we can talk about this.”

I followed Ben inside and he sat on his couch next to me. “So when did all this start?”

“Actually it happened just a little after I moved here. I was taking a walk in the woods and passed out. I woke up almost three hours later. I’ve been having headaches ever since that day and sometimes I see monsters when I blackout. I’m afraid I’m going crazy Ben.”

“Have you been back to the doctor?”

“No, but the doctor I saw couldn’t find anything physically wrong with me. I’ve had two blackouts today on the way home from Lexington while I was driving. He said I should go back if it gets worse. Well it’s worse.”

Ben looked at me and said, “You want me to drive you up there?”

“No, not yet,” I said.

“Well if not, then you’re staying here tonight. I don’t want you to be driving right now. Maybe you’ll be better in the morning. Ben got some blankets and fixed a place for me on his couch. “Here you lie down and get some rest. I’ll watch Buddy for you.”

                         Wednesday April 11

The next morning I woke up, after sleeping through the night without a blackout, or at least I didn’t remember anything. Ben made breakfast, so we sat on his front porch to eat egg and bacon sandwiches. As I ate my sandwich, I looked at Ben and felt myself slipping away. I couldn’t say anything, it just happened again. I was yanked away from this world. I found myself sitting alone in a grassy field. In the distance, I could see something glowing. I followed the light and found a gravel road glowing dimly blue. It intersected with a river. A dark faded forest appeared all around me. Along the sides of the road,  ghostly figures walking aimlessly, shuffling their feet as they walked. They were whispering, but I couldn’t understand them. They hung their heads sadly.  They couldn’t see me, I was invisible to them as I stood there watching this lonely march. In the distance, that same dark figure appeared in the sky and rapidly overtook me. It surrounded me in an icy coldness. I crouched low to the ground and tried to bat it away with my hands. A brilliant light appeared between me and the creature causing the dark figure to retreat. I sat rocking on the ground begging it all to end.

I awoke again in the same spot with a bite of the sandwich in my mouth. I looked at Ben, shaking.

“Are you okay Travis? You look as if you saw a ghost.”

“Ben it happened again. Just now as I was eating. I can’t stop it from happening.”

“That’s so interesting. I couldn’t tell that anything happened at all until the expression on your face changed,” said Ben.

“It’s happening more often now. I have no control over it and it feels like some sort of drug trip.”

“Wow, I was just going to suggest we smoke some pot, but I guess that’s not a good idea. Maybe you’re having negative reactions to the pot,” said Ben.

“Well, I have been smoking pot a lot lately.” I walked outside and felt more confident on such a sunny, warm spring day. I told Ben that I would try to drive home.

“Do you want me to follow behind you just in case?”

“Nah, thanks Ben, I want to thank you so much for last night. I plan to go back to the VA hospital and get checked out again.” I gave Ben a big hug. He told me to give him a call once I got home.

When I got home I laid down on the couch and called Ben. I told him I was okay, but I was scared. I kept Buddy close to me, but I knew that once I slipped over, Buddy would be gone. I spent the rest of the day on the couch watching TV.

                   Thursday April 12

I had another incident during the night. It was terrifying that these strange creatures seemed to be out to kill me and I felt helpless. It just seemed to be a matter of time until they got me. It was as if nightmares could come true. I was becoming depressed. I walked out on the porch to let Buddy out to pee and looked out over towards the barn. I noticed some unusual shape in the plowed field. I couldn’t tell exactly what it was and then to my horror I saw a blurry, human form moving ever so slightly. It’s face turned towards me as it stood there. It turned back towards the woods and  walked a short distance, and then, it vanished. This cold chill traveled down my spine and my knees felt weak. I called for Buddy and ran back inside. “Buddy!  Buddy! come on boy!” Buddy ran inside and I slammed the door closed. I jumped on the couch and got under the blanket where I stayed for the rest of the day.

That night the spell came over me again. I was sitting in a field  surrounded by the TV static fog. This time there was a possum running towards me. It stopped, sat up on its hind legs and  waved it’s fuzzy little arms about as if it wanted to tell me something. I followed the possum as it ran towards the hills. As I was trying to keep up, something reached up and grabbed at my ankle. Looking down I saw a hand rising out of the earth. It seemed to be someone sleeping just beneath the soil. The shock caused me to return to my body, lying on my couch under the covers.

                             Friday April 13

Still shaken up from seeing that unearthly figure walk across the plowed field yesterday, I didn’t feel safe in either this world or the place I was being transported to, so I kept Buddy close by at all times. The dishes piled up high in my sink and I feared doing anything. I knew that sooner or later I would return to that dark place again. I told myself I had to be braver.

That afternoon I was playing fetch the ball with Buddy, his favorite game that he never seemed to tire from. I stood by the cellar chucking the tennis ball over the roof and Buddy would run around and retrieve it. I felt another spell coming on and sat down on the grass. Time once again came to a slow halt and things faded. Each time I entered this place, the less foggy and vague it became, like I was learning how to navigate this foreign territory. I was surrounded by a transparent forest of trees that stood before me, but I was able to pass through them like a mist. I came to realize that time didn’t seem to matter much in this place. No matter how long it felt like I remained here, I always returned to the same exact moment in time that I left. This time, I finally felt brave enough to explore and took off walking, following the glowing streaks across the sky.

I walked for miles, but there was no way to tell time because the sky remained constant. Near the edge of this forest, I saw a subtle glow coming from the ground. As I got closer,  another pathway of lighting bug trails  flickering on and off with a green blue fire. Through my peripheral vision, I caught glimpses of large herds of bison, mammoth, elk, and other large creatures I had never seen before, ghostly images unaware of my presence. They too followed the glowing path, meandering through forests, houses and farmland that seemed to be superimposed atop one another. Nothing seemed overly solid, except for the ground, but even then, I could push my hand right through anything if I really tried.  A flock of crows flew over me, not some random blurring in and out kind, but actual crows that I could focus my eyes upon. They flew off of the path of the road, so I decided to follow them. The fog of trees faded away as the endless miles increased, replaced by a desert, rocky and dead.

The crows followed a new glowing trail through the barren wastelands which crested at the top of a hillside.  Down below lay a vast valley as far as I could see. Beside the trail stood a wooden signpost that read, “Beyond this point lies the Valley of Dreams. Stick to the path lest ye be taken away.”

How odd that I should find such a sign in the middle of nowhere. As I descended into the valley, I could hear voices to either side of me. Looking straight ahead, I saw only the desolate road, but when I looked to either side, I could see faint images of people I recognized.

And there was a vision of my pappaw’s corn field. I stepped off the path for just an instant and became a child again running and laughing through the tall grass with my cousins playing hide and seek. At one end of the field, my maamaw had a flower garden with heirloom flowers such as cocks’comb, touch-me-not, zinnias, bachelor’s buttons and snow on the mountains. An outhouse near the garden made the flowers grow tall and vibrant. It was a magical time in my childhood. Behind the flowers she had a vegetable patch, and in the midst of the field was a scarecrow hung high on a wooden pole, its arms splayed outwards, nailed to a crossbeam like a Christ figure staring towards the heavens. “97, 98, 99, 100 ready or not here I come” My cousins now well hidden, I began my search. Past the pole beans and the cabbage I heard a gentle sobbing. It was a woman on her knees dressed all in black with a veil covering her face. I asked her why she was crying.

“The love of my life has just died and I can’t go on,” she said, looking forlornly towards the scarecrow in the middle of the field,  continuing to sob.

I pushed past the tall corn with its sharp leaves and detected the distinct odor of death. Above me hung the scarecrow, his arms bound to the cross beam, looking like a man long dead. His flesh, putrid and dark separated from the bone and was covered in a thousand buzzing flies. His face gazed upwards with dead blackberry briars wrapped tightly about its skull. A vile goo pooled on the ground beneath his fallen organs. I also noticed brightly colored eggs hidden beside the stalks of corn. I wanted to run, but felt compelled to stay.

“Don’t go,” said a voice whispering. “Stay and have some of my eggs.”

I looked up and saw the skull glaring down at me, its toothy grin and missing eyes. Compelled to do so, I picked up a blue egg and cracked it open. It was rotten and foul, but swimming inside was a big fat maggot that leapt out and clung to my shirt. I screamed and tried to brush it away, but it crept quickly towards my face. I smacked it to the ground and squished it beneath my feet. I turned and tried to run away, but my feet felt like lead. At the other end of a row of corn, I saw a hulking beast with the head of a groundhog. It stood as tall as a man, lumbering slowly towards me. Its droopy bloodshot eyes glazed over, looked straight ahead, unaware of me standing there. It’s mouth gaping open, lower jaw unhinged with a black goo and muck spewing forth. It came closer and staggered past me as if drunk. It wandered aimlessly down between the rows of corn.

I ran back towards my grandpa’s house and saw my maamaw on the rooftop sweeping thousands of squirming pink, naked, newborn squirrels onto the ground below with a broom. One hit me on the shoulder as it fell, letting out a tiny yelp.

“Sorry Travis, I hope I didn’t hit you with one of them!” she chuckled.

The lawn below was littered with the dead and dying creatures. Her dog gobbled them up happily.

“Hurry Travis, we’ll be late for church,” said my older brother Jimmy. “Mom said we ain’t supposed to get our Sunday clothes dirty.” I looked down and noticed I was dressed in a white dress shirt and black pants. Everyone else was sitting in the car waiting for me. How odd that they were already to go except me.

In the car everyone seemed odd. They were acting all sad. Mom was crying and dad looked emotionless.

I looked around and said, “Where’s Jimmy?”

“He’s up in heaven honey, with Jesus,” said Maamaw McCallister, wiping her eyes.

“No, I was just talking to him,” I said.

“He died Sweetie,” my mom said, putting her arm around my shoulder.

I pulled away. “I don’t feel good. Can I just go back home?” I said.

My mom glared back at me and said, “No, you’re going to be with the family for Jimmy’s funeral.” I started to cry.

When we got to the church I could see friends and neighbors filing inside. Our neighbor Mr Ott came up to me and put his hand on my shoulder. “You got to be strong for times like this Travis,” he said.

Ladies hugged me and other kids just stared from a distance.

Inside the church everyone took their seats. The preacher, dressed in black, stood at the pulpit, and before him lay the body of Jimmy in an open casket. To either side were folding tables dressed in white table cloths topped with bouquets of flowers, paper plates and cups.

“Today we come to pay our last respects to young Jimmy McCallister. A good boy who the Lord has called back way too soon, and now he is with our Lord in heaven. So let us all come forward and pay our last respects to the deceased by having communion,” said the preacher.

That sounded a bit odd. People rose from their seats and filed down to view the body. To my horror I watched the preacher pick up a carving knife from the table and sliced into the body. A man in a suit handed him a plate. One woman got upset and said, “Let me go. What’s wrong with you people?” Two of the big guys grabbed her by the arms and led her to the altar. One kid said, “Do I have to go down there?” His father sternly said, “Yes you do, son.”  People were filing down in two rows. My dad led me by the hand and we took our place in line. My legs were shaking. Something was terribly wrong. I waited for my chance and broke free of my dad’s grasp. I ran for the front door, but one of the big security guards blocked the doorway. Other people tried to corral me, so I darted for one of the side doors. I was trapped inside one of the rooms. I heard footsteps behind me. I managed to break a small window and crawl out just as arms were trying to pull me back inside. I landed on the ground outside the church and ran through the parking lot towards open fields. My feet felt like lead and I wasn’t getting very far away. I was being hunted like an animal by alien creatures that looked like my family.

I ran for miles it seemed, too afraid to look behind me. I came to the edge of a large lake and sat in the tall grass. I was an adult again. I felt safe now that I had some distance between me and that church. I noticed lots of geese and ducks eating grass by the water’s edge. It reminded me of my dear old friends, my pet ducks from childhood, long abandoned. Just by chance, I called out to them with a certain whistle followed by a quacking sound. I repeated the call and listened. There was a quacking response. Three white ducks left the company of the others and ran towards me. A feeling of both joy and sadness washed over me. They were three of four trusted friends that I’d abandoned in my life and never kept in contact with. “Howdy my dear friends, I’ve missed you all these years. How’ve you been doing?” Then one by one, they each spun a tale of sorrow and hardship so great, that I wept from my guilt and love. I asked about the forth duck, yet sadly they didn’t know.

“Do you happen to have any bread, cracked corn, or worms you could give us?  We’re so hungry and tired,” said the ducks.  I reached in my pockets, but they were empty.

“I have nothing on me, but stay here. I’ll find you something.”

I was much older now as I ran off in search of some food to give the ducks, but I was far from town. By chance, I came across the first car I ever owned, parked beside the road. For some odd reason I got into the back seat and tried to drive the car. I found it hard to drive and had no control over the brakes. I ran off the road into a ditch.

Down the road, I came upon a house with two children playing in the yard. I stopped and asked if they could go in the house and give me some bread. The little boy said he would, but came back with his mother who invited me inside to have dinner with the family. The woman asked if I was hungry and I lied saying yes, but did not say that the food was for the ducks. I sat down at their table where they had a feast prepared. Lots of vegetables and desserts were sitting on the table. The woman came from the kitchen carrying a roast that smelled so delicious. At first I thought it was a roast pig, but something was amiss. The snout was too short and the limbs weren’t quite right. To my surprise and horror, I realized that it was not a pig at all, but a human baby that had been roasted in the oven. The children squealed with delight at the sight of the roast baby. I got up and made an excuse that I needed to go home. The family tried to convince me to stay, but I refused and left them to their meal.

I wandered the neighborhood searching for bread, but got distracted by the frame of an old swing set missing the swings. I ran to it and hung from the top bar like a monkey. So easily I spun and swung my body like a gymnast, so easily in fact that I was nearly as light as air. I swung myself past the swing set and up into the branches of nearby trees, checking out the nests of birds. I saw other people here in this park, but no one seemed to notice my amazing abilities. I then noticed that I didn’t need to touch the branches to stay aloft. I floated at will, becoming ever so light.

I heard a familiar voice coming from the ground below.

“Travis you need to get back to church. Momma and Daddy and everyone else is out looking for you,” said my brother Jimmy.

“Church? Why should I go back to church?” I said, but then I remembered what had just happened there. I was confused about how I could so easily forget such a thing.

“No, I won’t go. People have gone crazy there. And you drowned in the lake a long time ago.”

“People just think I drowned. I’ve been here all along. That’s why we go to church, silly. You need to come down Travis. It’s too early for the rapture,” said Jimmy, waving his arms.

But now I was floating in the sky hovering just above my brother. “I don’t want to go to any rapture. How do I get down?” I cried.

I tried to grab ahold of nearby branches, but they slipped past my fingers. I was getting lighter and had no control. A small breeze caught me and sent me floating up and away past the park. My speed was increasing. I kicked my feet and tried to swim in the air to get back towards the ground, but it was impossible. I sped by power lines and feared being caught in the wires and electrocuted. Soon I was far above the trees, moving faster and faster with a greater current of wind. I feared the clouds because of the lightning that can come from them. I feared going past the clouds and being sent far beyond the atmosphere. I panicked and began to spin wildly out of control. I closed my eyes tightly.

…

I awoke lying in the grass. Buddy was licking my face. I grabbed Buddy and gave him a big hug, I didn’t want to let go. I just had the most terrifying and intense dream. “Is this what happens when someone goes crazy?” I wondered. The most terrifying part is that I didn’t have any control over when or how long these episodes would last. The last one felt like I’d been gone nearly a week or two, but only a moment seemed to actually pass.

I went back inside and gave Buddy some water. I lay down on the couch and put my blanket over me. I turned on the TV to distract me. Partway through the news I felt it happen again.

I woke up sitting on a small footpath in the middle of a flat rocky desert.  There were no recognizable landmarks in either direction and I had a choice of following the path to either my left or right. I turned left and kept strictly to the path, ignoring the whispers and visions to either side of me. Soon the voices faded to nothing.

On either side of the worn path I saw long discarded objects from my childhood. A section of plastic Hot Wheel track, my first bicycle lying rusted and dented in the sand, a teddy bear, an empty bottle of Grapette soda. I reached down to pick up an old softball glove that my dad had given me. It brought back fond memories of Jimmy and I playing catch in the vacant lot beside our house. Those were times before things went wrong. I found less and less items the further I traveled.

I followed the path for many miles across a rocky moonscape to what appeared to be the ruins of some ancient structure. Suddenly I was back in Iraq wearing my army fatigues and a helmet. Guarding the gateway to the ruins stood two colossal statues of beasts with the heads of bearded men and the bodies of a bull with wings.  Strange writings were carved into the stones. On one large stone was the symbol of a hand with an eye in the palm. This was surrounded by a horned winged serpent swallowing its tail. It appeared to be some sort of altar. Behind it, leading down the side of the hill, were the craters created by US forces during the bombings. A young boy with bronze skin sat atop a large boulder with an assault rifle between his legs.

I made a noise by stepping on loose rocks and the kid spun around pointing his weapon at me. I was shaking and my stomach fell ill.

“Don’t shoot!” I said holding my hands up in the air. I saw the wound on his neck and recognized it was the kid I had killed in the war. His tiny body shook as he was about to pull the trigger. Suddenly his expression changed and he put down the rifle. “Alraaei! Alraaei!” he said. I didn’t understand. He ran over to me and took my hand and pulled me towards the ruins. On the altar was the symbol of the hand with the eye. He pointed to it and then to the hexagon on my left hand. He said the word, “alraaei” and then pointed to me.

“I don’t understand,” I said.

He smiled at me and said, “Baaaa, baaaa!” The expression changed and he grabbed his neck. Blood gushed from the wound. His eyes became wild and terrified as he lay upon the rocks.

“Don’t die! Don’t die! I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to kill you!”I cried. As I knelt down beside him, he vanished.

“It isn’t real. It isn’t real, none of this. My mind’s playing tricks on me.” I cried. But it felt real to me.

I was lost. I couldn’t find the path and wandered aimlessly through the desert. I was afraid it would go on forever.

Some time had passed, perhaps day or weeks. I was having trouble remembering who I was. The more I tried to focus, the more things slipped away. I found footprints in the sand and followed them. Beyond the flat stretch lay mountains on the horizon. I saw the figure of a man off in the distance. I followed him for miles. I finally caught up with him making a campfire but kept my distance. He turned and waved at me to join him. Crouching beside a fire, a lean middle-aged man with dark features, a beard and grey tunic motioned for me to sit down.

“Welcome stranger. Come take a seat by my fire,” said the man smiling.

“What is this place? I said.

“This is the Desert of Despair, and beyond those mountains lie the Plains of Leviathan. Why are you following me?” he said.

“I’m lost. I don’t know why I’m here or how to get back.”

“What makes you think I know how to get back? I’m just a simple man,” he said.

“Who are you and how’d you get here?” I said.

“All in good time my friend, but here, have some wine,” he said with a grin handing me a flask. Something about his grin made me cringe.

“No thanks,” I said trying to be polite.

“Oh, but I insist,” he said glaring at me.

“No,” I said more harshly. The man terrified me.

“Have it your way then,” he said rolling his eyes.

“Do you treat all your guests like this?” I said.

He nodded yes and stoked the small fire.  He glared at me with a lustful grin and the firelight made his face look red.

“Come closer,” he said.

I shook my head no and said, “I’m fine right here.” I was sexually turned on, but repelled by this man at the same time.

He stood, dropping his tunic at his feet, and slowly strutted towards me. His erect cock swinging side to side. He drug his fingers across my shoulder and neck like checking for dust.

“You like what you see. I can tell.”

He knelt down and licked my ear and neck. His breath smelled of rotten meat. He took his hand and reached down to my crotch. I grabbed his hand and pulled it away.

“What’s wrong? You know you want it,” he whispered. He stood and slapped his hard cock against my face. I turned and raised my hand to prevent him from doing it again.

He jumped back and stood in front of me.

“Show me what’s in your hand,” he demanded.

“Nothing’s in my hands,” I said.

I raised my hands to show him and he shrunk beside the flames.

“Get Baaahk! get baaahhhh, bahhhhhh!”

The man transformed into a goat before my eyes, yelling and bleating at me. The goat turned and ran off into the desert. It gave me chills.

I was alone again wandering towards the mountains in the distance. The land rose in elevation and became rocky. I found another path winding through the foothills between desert shrubs. I heard a familiar noise coming from behind some rocks. It was a clanging, ringing sound. Wedged between two boulders was a faded red and blue plastic toy telephone with a white coil of plastic connected to a red handset. It rang again. I picked up the handset and said, “Hello, hello?”

I heard a faint distinctive voice on the other end.

“Travis? Travis honey, is that you?”

“Mom, where are you? Are you okay? I can hardly hear you.”

“What did you say?”

“It’s good to hear your voice again, mom. I miss you.”

“I miss you too sweetie. Is your dad there?”

“No, where are you? Mom? Mom?”

“Travis, Travis are you there?”

“Mom? Mom? Stay on the line,” I begged. Then I heard a terrible screeching and the beating of wings behind me. Something powerful knocked me off my feet. I tried to stand and it tore at me again. I regained my footing, turned and beheld a gigantic, dark, flying serpent with bat-like wings and two claw-like arms. Undulating like a snake through the sky, its skin glimmered with twinkling stars against black velvet. Swift and agile It came to attack a third time. Feeling helpless and terrified, I crouched low. The strange symbol on my hand started to burn and glow with a brilliant light causing the creature to flee. I continued down the path till I came upon a signpost that read, “Despair no longer, beyond lies the Mountains of the Gods.”

The land became green and lush. I sat beside a river under a tree and drank cool, refreshing water.  A flock of crows landed in the tree above me. I heard a voice coming from above.

“Come with us.” It was the crows. They were calling to me. They took flight and circled above me. “Come with us!”

I ran towards the mountains following the crows. As I ran faster I felt myself growing lighter. Soon my clothes fell from my body and I flew with them, higher and higher until I was among the clouds.

I flew through rough winds following a flock of crows.  As the clouds parted, I was somewhere else entirely. The flock descended from the sky and landed in the trees beside the ruins of a city long decayed and taken over by the forest. I perched on the branch of a maple not far from the remains of some Greek or Roman looking columns.

The other crows took flight and I was about to join them, when I heard a voice from the ruins below me. “Come down here!” cried a woman waving her arm towards me. She stood between the columns of what appeared to be the porch of some old southern mansion. Only the foundation was left standing. The main part of the house had collapsed into a huge pile of bricks with weeds and briars covering most of it. The porch seemed to have been cleared and kept free of the debris. What was once a yard was completely overgrown by brush and weeds.

The woman called again and I swooped down and landed upon the porch at her feet. She was dressed in a blue Grecian-styled tunic. She had long dark flowing hair tied back with a band and wore a blue veil on top of her hair. The woman had a fire in the remains of an old stone fireplace and within it sat a large metal kettle of boiling water. “Come sit at my fire and don’t be afraid. I’ve been expecting you.”  I hopped closer to the flames and could feel myself changing. Growing larger, my dark feathers gave way to bare flesh crouching on a cold concrete slab.

“Put these on if you like.”

I was naked. She handed me an old beige woolen tunic. I was embarrassed by suddenly becoming naked.

“Don’t worry about being naked, many don’t wear clothes here.”

“How were you expecting me? I had no idea myself that I would be coming here.”

“I saw the signs of your coming as one among many as a flock of crows.”

She turned around and stirred the fire. Embers kicked up in the wind and lit the early dusk.

“Nice to have you back!” said the woman.

“Do I know you?”

“Maybe you do and maybe you don’t, but I remember you. You’ve been here countless times, not always as you are now, sometimes with a different look or a different name. Your memory tends to fade here,” she said. “Come sit on my porch.”

She looked strangely familiar. “What’s your name?”

“Here I am known as Cassandra, Empress of the Moon, but little George there calls me Possum Momma. I’ve been here so long that I’ve forgotten my past. I had another life before this, but only vague memories remain.”

“I can’t remember who I am either. Are there others?  Are you really an empress?”

She laughed as I said that. “It’s just a name. Countless people have passed through this place as well as the dead.”

“The dead?” I gasped. “As in ghosts?”

“Yes, They wander these parts in a dream. They follow the salt.”

“What salt?”

“The salt on the road from the bison trails. Salt puts out a light in this place. You saw it on the road. Not only does it put out light, but it can blind and burn the spirits that dwell in this place.”

“How come it didn’t bother me?”

“Because you’re not one of the dead. You’re like me. Come sit on my porch.”

I sat down on one of the stone steps. It felt solid and cool. “What is this place?”

“This porch is a duality. It exists partially here and overlaps the world that you know. There are a few places where dualities exist. They’re sacred places, and doorways for ethereal beings.”

She sat down on a stool across from me facing the fire. I could see the water boiling in her kettle. She grabbed a handful of some dried herb from her pocket and tossed it into the water.  It simmered and boiled and it had an earthy sage smell.

“Who are these ethereal beings?” I asked.

“They are immortals, called by many names, shapeshifters, gods, demons, angels, genii, elves. They’re always among us, yet we rarely see them in their true form. They walk freely between worlds and exist in all times. They can take the form of any creature.”

She stood and reached for two small bowls and took a wooden ladle and dipped into the boiling tea and poured it into both bowls and handed me one of them.

“How’d you get here?”

“I just happened here one day. I was lost in the Valley of Dreams alone and scared, then something came to me in the mist. A voice told me not to be afraid. I saw a bright light then felt warmth. Somehow it changed me. After it left, the fog cleared and I found this old mansion with a broken mirror lying on one of the steps. In the mirror I could see the fields, woods, the sun, and moon beyond the fog. It wasn’t long afterwards that I discovered my ability to see visions in the face of the moon. There are different visions for each person who stumbles out of the fog.”

“So why am I here?”

“I suppose you’re here for the same reason that everyone else seeks me out. Here, drink this tea.”

I put the bowl to my mouth and sipped the hot tea. It smelled good, but was very bitter.

“Please, drink it all.” She drank from her bowl also and instructed me to lie down and close my eyes.

“Something attacked me in the fog just before I got here. It was big and black and tried to kill me,” I said.

“Oh yes, those demons are everywhere. Those who fall victim can become trapped here. I’m glad you got away.”

“Then I met a man in the desert who was interested in the scar on my left hand. I wouldn’t have gotten away had it not been for this strange symbol on my hand and the light that came from it.”

“Let me see that,” she said as I held out my hand. “This looks like a key. The hexagram is the sign of divine origin. Keys such as this are ethereal in design. How did you get this?”

“I don’t remember.”

“George, come show him your hand.”

A big possum approached from behind one of the columns and stuck out its paw and in the palm I saw a similar red hexagon. It surprised me and I jumped. “Don’t worry, George is very smart and friendly. I’m not sure how it happened, but George was changed by one of those angelic creatures,” said Cassandra.

“This place might seem like Hell if you can’t leave, but if you have a key, this can be a marvelous place. A key can take you almost anywhere. It will reveal itself to you in time.”

She went inside the old ruins and came out with an old oval mirror attached to a stand and framed in ebony and silver inlay with strange symbols carved into the wood. She sat it on the edge of her porch.

“What do you see Cassandra?” I asked.

“You can’t see the moon with the naked eye because you can only focus this moment within a certain distance. Beyond that distance, things become timeless. This mirror captures the moon’s image within this area and allows me to see it.”

“What’s so special about the moon?”

“I’ll show you. Lie back and close your eyes.” She reached over and placed her hand upon my forehead.

“The moon reflects the future. And in the moon I see two fox pups in the woods. One is black and the other red. Their tails are tied together. The black one grows stronger as the red one weakens.” She paused for a few moments and continued.

“There’s a blue rowboat with the numbers 12, 31, 01 painted in red on the side. The boat is sinking with a mother cat and her kitten on board. A large fish seems to be pulling the boat towards shore by a rope.” Again there was another silent pause as crows cawed in the distance.

“There are a pair of jacks from a deck of playing cards pinned to the side of a tree by a cross shaped dagger. One of the jacks has your face on it.”

“This sounds familiar,” I said.

“In a small town at night, people are standing around watching a circus parade passing by. Elephants chained ankle to ankle walking slowly down the middle of town. In front of them two sad clowns are playing violins with their heads hanging low. Leading the show, a ringmaster dressed in a red suit sporting a large handlebar mustache.”

“Everything you’ve said so far, I’ve also seen. Those are the same images on my TV screen the night of my blackout,” I said.

“A pair of eyes open and float in front of the face of the moon. Each eye splits down the middle in a kind of mitosis. Now two pairs of floating eyes are looking about.  I hear the Piper’s music growing louder, lulling people into complacency.  Hills crawl with lodi in the darkness. Like sheep they move about slowly all covered in thorns. Having heads like a large slug, with  goat-like eyes on the end of long tubular stalks. They follow the music in the sky. Beware this four eyed moon for I see two great columns stand blazing in the morning sun as the green woman with the torch looks on from the shore. Two silver birds lulled by the music of the sirens fly head first striking the great columns. She weeps as the columns crumble like ashes.”

“I saw those sheep before. Are they dangerous?” I said.

“The lodi are lost souls following a corrupt song. As they grow in number, so does evil,” she said. “By themselves, lodi are harmless, but when you have three or more, they can overpower your will and lead you astray to where you become lodi yourself.”

“What else do you see?”

She gazed into her mirror and sighed, “In this particular incarnation you’ll experience anima ex machina, the third act of creation. Your soul will share the bodies of others from the past in order to create a timeline which will lead to your inheriting a farm. When the time is right, you’ll meet a young sailor who will save your life, in return for his deed, you shall offer up your family farm in repayment.”

“I knew that you looked familiar. You were my cousin from a dream. I think this all happened once before.”

There was a long pause.

“Why’d you stop?” I opened my eyes and sat up as Cassandra put the mirror away.

“The order of time has no meaning here and I’ve told you enough for now.”

“What does it all mean?”I said.

“I don’t know. It was only meant for you to discover. I think it’s time for you to continue your journey.”  She placed a veil over the mirror and reached for my hand. “Come, step between the pillars and behold the miraculous.” Before I could say goodbye, she shoved me forward and I saw a blinding flash.

Then I felt a strong tug as my mind rushed back into my frozen body which was still sitting on the couch. Buddy  licked my face.  This time I stood up and instead of feeling terrified, I felt calm as if I’d just returned from some long adventure. I had vague memories of Cassandra, George, demons and angels, and people from my past.

A while later I heard a banging at my door. “Travis! Travis are you there?” I got up and walked to the door. “You didn’t answer your phone, so I came over. Are you okay?” I got up and hugged Ben tightly. “I wasn’t okay yesterday, but I think things are going to be better now.”

The next morning Ben drove me to the VA hospital where I met a little Asian man named Dr Chen. I told him about most of the events that led up to me coming to see him without going into detail about the dreams and visions themselves, and he seemed concerned and curious.

“When was the last time you had one of these blackouts?” he said.

“Last one happened yesterday afternoon.”

“And how long do these blackouts last?”

“That is the weird part. Just a split second. But within that second I seem to have lived an entire lifetime. Sometimes the blackouts happen minutes apart, hours, or even days apart. I can feel them coming on and can’t do anything to stop them.”  

“Do you ever feel like hurting yourself or others?”

“No, but sometimes it makes me so afraid that I want to hide under a blanket. I can’t live like this.”

“I see here that you served in Desert Storm. Many servicemen came back with symptoms of fatigue, headaches, dizziness, and joint pains, as well as mental and emotional problems.”

“But I haven’t had any symptoms until just recently. It all started happening after I passed out in the woods. The doctor checked me out and said, physically I was healthy as a horse, except for some proteins in my blood that he didn’t seem to concerned about.”

“Maybe something you saw in the woods triggered something. Who knows, but I think we need to start you on some antipsychotic medication. Hopefully that will put an end to some of those episodes. I want to monitor you for the next few months. If you experience any negative side effects, I want you to call me so we can adjust your dosage,” he said, as he wrote a prescription.

He stood, reached out to shake my hand, smiled and nodded. I thanked him and said goodbye.

Ben was sitting with Buddy under a tree. “So what did the doctor say?” said Ben.

“He wants to see me again, but right now he gave me a prescription for some crazy person pills.”

“Well let’s go get you fixed, crazy person,” he said, patting me on the shoulder.

 ,