It was late. One of those hot dry summer nights alive with the sound of crickets. The three of us Ben, Suzanne and I all stretched out upon the grass in his front yard. We ought to have left hours ago, but we were having so much fun. Ben made up funny songs and told amazing stories in front of his fire pit, but somehow we ended up playing freeze tag. We collapsed on his lawn and lay together quietly watching the stars. We smoked way too much weed.

“Hey Suzanne, I think I can see Uranus from here,” I said.

“Oh fuck you,” she said giggling. “Travis, did you know that Uranus is a gas giant?”

“I did indeed. Shall I demonstrate?” I said, laughing and making a fart sound with my mouth.

“Perhaps we should send a probe to Uranus just to make sure,” said Ben, laughing.

“Stop it, you’re gonna make me wet myself,” said Suzanne. “You got any chips or snacks, Ben? I got the munchies.”

“There’s some left over pizza in the fridge, and I think I have some Ho Hos in the cabinet,” said Ben.

“Ooh, I’ll be right back!” said Suzanne, walking to the house.

“Hey Ben, you know that familiar hum in your ears right before you fall asleep, and then that click, as if a switch had been turned on?” I said, rolling over to face him.

“Nope, can’t say that I have,”

No? Well that is what happens to me sometimes, I’ll hear this noise and suddenly I’ll be dreaming. I still might think that I’m awake. But unlike being conscious and doing what you want, in a dream, you are led. You can think and try to reason, but ultimately you go where the dream takes you. You ride along and experience the will of something else. This  sound is like the hum of a refrigerator. It’s so loud it roars in waves, rolling over you. It seems like minutes go by instead of just seconds. Being lulled away like that, then nodding off, only to jolt awake like you’re catching yourself in a fall,” I said.

“Dude you’re stoned,” Ben said, laughing.

“Oh, am I? Could it be from all your killer pot we smoked?” I said sarcastically. “I got the munchies too. Cook, bring me some hasenpfeffer!” I said, giggling.

“Be berry berry quiet, I’m hunting wabbits,” Ben said, in an Elmer Fudd voice.

I giggled and it made me snort. Then we both snickered.  

Suzanne came running out the door all serious. “It’s almost 1:30,” she said, running to grab her things. “We need to be going, Travis. I need to stop by and pick up Bella. I hope Cindy’s not too pissed,” said Suzanne. “Thanks for a fun night Ben,” she said, giving him a kiss.

Ben gave me a big hug and we left right away.

The streets of Millersburg were empty and the town had gone to sleep. I parked in front of the post office and waited for the longest time as Suzanne went up to get Bella.  I anxiously tapped my fingers on the steering wheel. I got chills down my back thinking about that thing around the corner behind the dumpster just a few weeks ago when I was here with Sam.  

Perhaps ten minutes had gone by. I watched a cat meander down the sidewalk. I turned to look up at Cindy’s apartment and then the door. Nothing yet. I looked back down the sidewalk to see the cat and it had stopped just before getting to 4th street. It was staring at something. Goosebumps rose on my arms when I saw the cat jump and run down the street. Something dark appeared out of the shadows crawling from around the building. I hoped to see another cat, but it was bigger. I lowered myself down in the seat. I didn’t want to be seen by whatever it was. I slowly raised my head above the dashboard and saw some creature in the shadows nearly as big as a medium size dog, dragging an old wooden crate behind as if it’s bottom half was stuck in it.  It was difficult to see clearly. I think it saw me. I ducked. I peeked once again and saw that it was much closer. It looked like a thin, naked, little man with a jester’s hat atop a bulbous head with strange eyes glaring back at me. I panicked and started the truck. The creature seeming more desperate to reach me, clawing its way closer just a few feet away. I put the truck in reverse into the road and then turned and sped forward. I looked back through my rear view mirror but didn’t see anything. I drove around the block and rounded the corner by the grocery store. It appeared to be gone. My hands were shaking when I parked the truck. A few minutes later Suzanne walked out the door holding Bella’s hand. When they got to the car, Bella crawled in rubbing her eyes.

“I’m so sorry for keeping you waiting, Travis. Cindy said that Bella was having nightmares.”

“Well I need to get you two home. It’s way late and I’m almost too tired to drive.” I started the engine and backed up. Bella woke up rubbing her eyes. She looked out the windows to the left and right crouching her head and then whispered to Suzanne, “Is the monster gone?” Cold chills crept over my body.

“What are you talking about sweetie, there’s no such thing as monsters.”

“Yes, mommy. There are monsters. I saw one today. I saw something scary crawling on the floor.”

“You were just having a nightmare, baby. There’s nothing here that will hurt you.”

“Are you sure?

“Yes Bella. We aren’t gonna let anything hurt you.” Bella closed her eyes and snuggled in Suzanne’s lap.

We drove home through the dark country roads. Suzanne didn’t say much but looked sleepy and worried. I drove home in silence thinking about what Bella had said. Had she also seen the man in the box?

The next morning I woke up early. Couldn’t sleep. It was just starting to get light outside. I went to the kitchen and made some hot coffee and toasted a bagel. Buddy was excited and wanted to go outside. I poured the coffee in my cup  and spread some cream cheese on a bagel. I gave Buddy some dry food and headed towards the front door. It was so quiet, everyone else was asleep. I opened the screen door and Buddy started to run out but hesitated and started to growl. I looked out and saw a big possum on the sidewalk looking at me. Buddy ran out ahead of me and started to bark.

“Buddy! Buddy, come back here!”

The possum was acting strange and I was afraid it might have rabies or something. I grabbed Buddy by the collar and pulled him inside the door. “Shhhh. Wait there!” I closed the main door. I could hear Buddy scratching at the door. I stood on the porch looking down at the possum. It just sat there looking up at me. “What do you want?” I said hoping it would leave, but then it sat up on its haunches and waved at me. I was shocked. Could it be the possum from the strange dreams? “George? George is that you?” I whispered. The possum shook its head yes. “I didn’t know you were real. What are you doing here?” George pointed at me then took his index finger curling it towards himself in a come hither motion. “I don’t understand.”  George looked around and saw a coloring book lying on the porch. He ran up on the porch and dug through the box of crayons lying near the book. He opened a blank page and started to draw with the crayons. He picked up the book and showed me what he had drawn. It was a picture of a jack-in-the-box with the words “help me” written below the picture. It made me wonder if the picture could be of the creature I saw in the alley last night. George dropped the coloring book, stood up and waved. He ran off the across the front lawn toward the field when Bella walked out the front door followed by Buddy barking. She saw Buddy chasing something and said, “Wow! a possum!”  I picked up the coloring book and tore the page out while Bella was distracted.

“Buddy! Buddy get back here!” Buddy stopped and turned facing me and then looked back. “No! come back here Buddy!.” I yelled. He slowly turned and slunk back.

“Wow, possums are creepy looking. Were you scared Travis?”

“Nah, they won’t hurt you. They look scary but they are just as afraid of us. So what are you doing up so early?”

“I heard buddy barking and I wanted to see what it was.”

 “He he. Well now you know.”

“Yeah and it was cool. Travis where did you find my coloring book?”

“I found it lying in the yard. The possum was messing with it,” I said.

“I left it on the porch. Looks like the possum was messing with my crayons too,” she said.

Bella went back inside. I pulled out the piece of paper from my pocket. This was something real that I could look at and touch. I didn’t know what to make of it. Had I actually written the message myself and thought it was a possum?

By two days later around 2:30 in the morning, I had drummed up the courage to investigate George’s cryptic message and to see if it was that creature in the alley that needed my help. I left Ben’s house and as I drove through town on my way home, I decided to park my truck out front of the Millersburg Market and investigate. I sat in the truck with Buddy, my hand shaking as I smoked a cigarette. It felt like a stupid idea, but finally got up the nerve to do it. I left Buddy sitting in the truck and walked past the store front and turned onto 4th street beside the dumpsters. I looked around behind the trash. The smell was awful and rats ran from behind a box of bottles.“Ghost, if you can hear me, I’m waiting,” I whispered

I stood near the dumpsters for a few minutes thinking someone might see me loitering around and think I was up to no good. I was ready to walk back to the truck when I heard a scraping noise and turned. There behind a trash can I saw a thin bony hand clawing at the pavement and the sound of wooden crate being pulled behind it. A skeletal figure with sunken eyes moaned in agony as it drug itself towards me. I stood motionless. It stopped just in front of me begging with its hands clasped in prayer. One of its hands reached out and grabbed the cuff of my jeans. I recoiled trying to pull away and reached down to release its grip and as I did, that strange hexagonal shape on my left hand grew brighter exposing very intricate geometric designs. A beam of light shone from my hand and it lit up the face of the creature. Suddenly I experienced the familiar slowing of time while being pulled somewhere far away.

                    Monday May 21 1956

I woke up lying in bed. I just had the most horrifying nightmare of some monster in an alleyway seeking me out. Skeletal and gross. My mom stood over me shaking my shoulder.

“Charlie! Charlie, sweetie, are you okay?” She put her hand up to my forehead. “Oh, goodness! You’re burning up with fever!”

I lay in bed all that day. It was strange. I felt like I should be somewhere else. Even though I recognized my mom, she felt like a stranger. She brought me aspirins and lots of liquids to drink. She said I should stay home from school today and not to worry.

The next morning I awoke having had a similar dream of the same monster in the alley. It was just around the block from where I lived with my mom in a tiny apartment above the post office. My dad had been killed a few years back and I suffered from nightmares a lot.  I woke up feeling much better but the dreams left me feeling creeped out. My mom drove me to school that morning. It was a beautiful spring morning in May. The flowers were blooming and birds were chirping. My mom pulled up in front of the school and kissed me on the cheek.

“Ah Mom! Not in front of the other kids.”

“What? You think you’re too big to be kissed by your mother?”

“Maybe.”

“Well next time I will kiss you before we get to the school, okay?” she said.

I smiled and said, “Sure Mom.”

I walked into Mrs Humphrey’s 5th grade classroom and took my seat next to my best friend Andy McAllister.

He turned to me and said, “Charlie, were you sick yesterday?”

“Yeah I had a fever and mom made me stay home.” I looked at Andy and felt funny as if I knew him some other way. He caught me staring at him.

“What are you staring at?”

“I don’t know. It was something about my dream the other night.”

The teacher stood up and looked across the room. “Okay settle down class. Time to take attendance. Billy  Anderson… Here. Debbie Banks… here, Tommy Bright,… here, Gary Dobbins,… here, Christina Farley,… present. Charlie Franklin… here. “Do you have an excuse for yesterday?”

“Yes, my mom gave me a note,” I said.

“Lets see it. It says you had a fever. Are you okay today?”

“Yes Mrs Humphrey,”

“Well good to have you back. You have some homework to catch up on.” Martha Grimes… here……..

Later on at recess we were on the swings. I looked over at Andy and said, “I thought I was someone else in my dream last night.”

“What do you mean?” said Andy.

“Like I was some man and like I drove this red truck. Things looked different. TVs were in color, telephones didn’t have wires.”

“Wow, that is so cool. Like the future or something?”

“Yeah maybe, but I remember you were in my dream. You were older I think.”

“Way cool,” said Andy. “Did you do your spelling homework?”

“No, can I get it from you?” I said.

When I got home from school, Mom was getting all dressed up. She was putting on makeup.

“Where are you going?”I asked.

“I’ve got another date with John Workman, the man you met last week. How do you feel about him?”

“He’s okay I guess. ‘Cept he called me Chuck, I don’t wanna be called Chuck,” I said.

“I’l’l talk to him about it. Your aunt Jennie will be over soon to babysit. You mind her, okay?”

“Mom, I’m too old for a babysitter. Can’t I stay over at Andy’s house?”

“Have you talked with Andy’s parents about this?”

“No, but if I ask, can I?”

“No, I don’t want you pestering the McAllisters. This is a school night, so maybe on the weekend, okay?”

“I guess so,” I said rolling my eyes.

Wednesday May 23 1956

That morning I woke up from another dream. I remembered that I was a man named Travis. It was all too real. I got dressed and ready for school. Mom was rushing around fixing my lunch telling me to hurry. She seemed familiar but also different. I kept quiet. As we were getting in the car, Mom turned and stared at me.

“Are you okay Charlie? You seem really quiet today.”

“I’m fine, Mom. I just had some strange dreams last night.” I sat quiet as we drove to my school. Millersburg looked so much different. It was like a strange dream of being two people at once. When we arrived at the elementary school it brought back memories of a different life I’d led with a different set of teachers. I said goodbye to my mom and walked towards the front door. I walked inside and found my way to my seat in Mrs Humphrey’s class and sat down beside Andy. I tried not to stare, but not only was this kid my best friend, but he was also my uncle. He looked so much younger than I ever remembered him. Andy looked over at me smiling.

“Guess what? Dad said I can build the tree house. Ask your mom if you can come over after school, okay?”

“Sure that sounds really fun,” I said.

Mrs Humphrey took roll call. I almost forgot to answer “here” when Charlie’s name was called. My classmates giggled at my mistake. Mrs Humphrey flashed me a look of disapproval. Then she told us to stand for the pledge of allegiance. Afterwards we took our seat and Mrs Humphrey took out the Bible and read us a story about Samson and Delilah. I found it strange to have the Bible read to us in school. I looked around the room and saw children’s paintings lining the walls. Above the blackboard was the alphabet. I was a man in the body of a boy. I felt awkward and inhibited.

She had us take out a piece of paper and pencil for our spelling test. She called out the words and had us write them down. Mrs Humphrey walked down the aisles watching us closely.

“Timmy keep your eyes on your own paper!” she yelled. She passed by my desk and said, “Since when did you start writing with your left hand Charlie?”

“Uhh, sorry. I guess I wasn’t thinking,” I said.

I put the pencil in my right hand but it felt awkward.

We passed our papers forward. She then had us take out our story books and each read a passage. By midmorning the bell rang and we were released for recess. I stood dumbfounded.

“What’s the matter Charlie? Don’t you want to go play with the other kids?” Mrs Humphrey said with her hands on her hips.

“I, uhhh. I don’t know.”

“Run along. It’s a nice, sunny day out. Aren’t you feeling well?”

I shook my head and ran towards the swings and slides. Running felt easy and I had boundless energy. Andy was playing on the monkey bars.

“Climb on up, Charlie. Dad said we can build a treehouse. Did you ask your mom?”

“No, not yet.”

Three other boys and a girl ran up to us, out of breath.

“Charlie, Andy, we found a dead raccoon. You wanna see? It’s all gooey and stinky,” said the girl with pigtails.

Andy jumped down and ran with them to the corner of the grassy field. Other kids were poking it with a stick.

“Ewww, look at all the maggots!” said the girl.

Another group of boys approached. Andy whispered in my ear. “Let’s go. Freddy’s coming.”

I turned around and this bigger kid pushed me down. Other kids laughed.

“What the fuck is wrong with you!” I yelled.

The other kids looked surprised.

“Gimme your lunch money Charlie,” said Freddy.

I stood up and said no. He made a fist and before he could hit me, I kicked him in the nuts. He dropped to the ground clutching his groin in a fetal position moaning. I stood in front of him shaking my fist and said, “You want to try that again, Freddy?”

“No, you can keep your lunch money,” said Freddy still lying on the grass.

“Wow! Charlie beat up Freddy!” said one of his friends.

I walked off towards the swing set. Andy ran up beside me laughing.

“I can’t believe you did that. Everybody is scared of him,” said Andy.

“I guess he deserved it,” I said.

“Charlie, you talk all different.”

“How so?”

“You talk mean like a grown up.”

I smiled and felt a new sense of confidence. “You think so?”

“Yeah, it was cool,” said Andy.

After school let out I went home and asked Mom if I could go over to Andy’s house. She said it was okay as long as I came back in time for supper. I jumped on my bike and rode about a half mile to the little farm on the edge of town. It was so strange. The trees in the yard looked so much smaller. Some of the houses I had remembered were not yet built. The area was surrounded by farm houses and everyone had an outdoor toilet. I knocked on my mamaw’s door and Andy answered it.

“Hey, you want some cookies?”

We got some cookies and walked inside to the living room. I looked over and saw Jimmy sitting on the couch reading a comic book. I’d only seen a handful of pictures of Dad as a boy, but never this age.  

He turned and yelled, “Don’t you guys eat up all the cookies.”

“We won’t,” said Andy. “Hey Jimmy you want to help us build a treehouse? Dad said we could.”

“I don’t know, maybe,” he said going back to his book. Part of me couldn’t help feeling awkward. My dad looked so young and unlike the way I remembered him. And here I was, best friends with my uncle. Andy finished his cookies and started yelling.

“Mom! Me and Charlie are going out to build a treehouse. Is that okay!”

Just then I saw my mamaw enter the room folding clothes.

“Yes Andy, you just be careful.” She looked over at me. “Oh hello, Charlie. How is your mom doing?”

“Oh..oh she’s fine I guess. She’s baking a pie for the PTA meeting.”

“Oh, yeah, that is tomorrow night. Well you tell her I said hello.”

“Sure mmmmaam… Mrs McAllister. I almost called her mamaw by mistake. We both ran outside and spent the afternoon building the treehouse. Jimmy came outside and helped a little. It felt so strange playing with a younger version of my dad. He was actually nice and fun to be around.

That night riding home I stopped by Mr Ott’s little grocery store. I walked inside and saw him stocking the shelves. The old man that I knew was now young. It was a trip back in time. The prices were amazingly cheap. Behind the counter he kept shelves of candy.

“Hi Charlie. Can I help you with something?” he said.

I dug in my pocket and pulled out a dime and a buffalo nickel.

“Do you still have penny candy?”

“It’s always been a penny. You okay?”

Just then a girl with dark hair nearly my age walked in the door with an older woman. She looked somewhat familiar.

“Hi what’s your name?” I said.

“Cassandra,” she said fidgeting with her dress.

“Do you live around here?” I said thinking that she looked familiar.

“We just moved here this week. I live on this street two houses down. What’s your name?”

“Charlie Franklin”

“Are you gonna get any candy or not?” said Mr Ott staring at me with his hands on his waist.

I bought fifteen pieces of assorted candy and he put it in a small paper bag. As I was walking out the door I yelled, “Bye Cassandra.”

When I got home that night mom was getting all dressed up and putting on makeup again.

“Charlie! Supper’s in the oven. Your aunt will be here shortly to watch you,” she said.

“Where you going, Mom?”

“You remember John Workman who works at the Coal and Lumber Company? Well, he asked me out on a date again.”

The name sounded familiar and not in a good way. I scrunched my face.

“What’s wrong? Don’t you like him?” she said.

At that moment, I had the realization that John Workman was Rodger’s dad, and that meant that Rodger was my future brother. I felt sick.

“I don’t trust him mom.”

“Where did this come from? You met him last night and he was a perfect gentleman. Why don’t you trust him?”

“I dunno.”

“We’ve talked about this sweetie. No one will ever replace your dad. He was a good man, but he died. He wouldn’t want to see me lonely for the rest of my life.”

“But mom, I don’t think he is the right one.”

“I’ll be the one to make that decision, but I will consider what you said. At any rate, tonight is just a date, okay?”

“Okay mom,” I said as I gave her a hug.

                          June 1 1956

Over a week had passed since I woke up here in the body of a boy named Charlie. School was letting out for summer vacation and all the kids were as excited as was I.  People noticed a change in my behavior. My mom wondered if I was feeling okay. The other kids at school were whispering behind my back. Some kids wanted to be my friend, while others stared at me from a distance. Even Mrs Humphrey looked at me oddly cocking her head as if confused. It’s difficult to think as a child once you’ve tasted life as an adult.

At the end of the day Mrs Humphrey wanted to talk with me.

“Am I in some sort of trouble?”

“No Charlie, but I am concerned. I’ve noticed that your grades have improved considerably along with your vocabulary. I’ve caught you writing with your left hand instead of your right. I want you to give this note to your mother. I think we should have you tested. Do you feel as if things are too easy? Do you get bored? I don’t think you’re being challenged. Well anyway, give this note to your mom okay?”

I tossed the note in the trash and went home. I realized that if I wanted to be in the same grade as Andy, I’d have to dumb it down some. When I got to Andy’s house he asked why I had to stay after school on the last day. I told him that she found out that I’d kicked Freddy’s ass. I lied, but he believed me. By this point, I’d become more Travis than Charlie. I could feel Charlie slipping away little by little. Later that day I decided to tell Andy who I really was. I’d been quiet about it up to this point. We were sitting together high up in the branches, our bare feet dangling over the edges just me and Andy. I felt a special bond with him. I looked out over the farm and beyond and said, “Andy, remember those weird dreams I told you about last week?”

“Yeah, the cool dreams of the future and stuff?”

“Yeah, well it is more than that. What would you say if I was from the future?”

“Andy laughed and said, “You mean like in the comic books where you travel back in time?”

“Yeah, sorta like that. What would you think if I told you that I was your nephew named Travis. I’m Jimmy’s son from the future living in Charlie’s body.”

“Wow, that would be cool, but you are just pretending, right? If you really are from the future, then tell me something that is going to happen.”

I thought for a moment and said, “There’s going to be computers. Lots of people will have them, and telephones without cords.”

“What else?”

“Uhhhh. I thought for a moment and said, “John Kennedy will be the next president and he’ll be killed. Our country will go to war in a place called Vietnam. The United States will send a man to the moon in 1969.”

“Wow you really know all of that? Okay, what about me? What will I do?’” said Andy.

“You really want to know?” Andy sat there for a moment and said yes tell me. “When you grow up, you’ll join the navy and travel all over the world,” I said.

“Wow that sounds really cool! What else?”  

“Uhhh, well you will buy a big farm and you will fall in love.”

“That sounds so cool. Who will I fall in love with?”

“I won’t say. Some things should be a surprise.”

We got thirsty and walked back to Andy’s house. I walked inside and without thinking I said.

“Mammaw, I mean Mrs McAllister, can I have some tea?”

“Uh, sure, Charlie your mom called and said your supper’s ready,” she said putting some meat in the oven.

I drank the tea down fast and said a quick bye. I jumped on my bicycle and sped down the street towards town. As I crossed the road to the other side, my chain flew off. I stopped in the middle of the road to pick up the chain when a truck came barreling down the road. I turned to look when it hit me hard and sent me flying.

I woke up in lots of pain. Mom stood over me crying. Everything was a blur.

“Uhhhh waah ahm I?”  I couldn’t form the words with my mouth. I felt terror.

“Oh honey you’re in the hospital. What do you remember sweetie?”

I tried to think back. Last thing I remember is being sick. “Ahh waa ssick wiff a ffiffrr,” I mumbled.

“Do you remember being at Andy’s house and riding your bike home?” said my mom.

“Nnna, whaut waus I doun at Andy’s houus?”

“Well they said that you and Andy had built a treehouse. Honey you were hit by a truck.”

“I waus?” I tried to move but couldn’t. “Ahhhh why caun’t I taulk wite.” I felt panic. The words I couldn’t form them with my mouth. They came out jumbled. My memory seemed off. I couldn’t seem to focus. I was forgetful. I tried to get up, but my legs wouldn’t respond. “Aghhhhhhhh! let meah uup! I can’t mouvve!”

“Hold still, Charlie. You’ve broken your back and suffered some brain damage.”

“Noooo!” I cried and laid back down. It felt like a nightmare.

I was lying in the hospital for what seemed like ages. Nurses poking me with needles and putting tubes down my throat. My mom showed up again with Mr Workman.

“How you doing Sport?” he said touching me on the shoulder.

“Charlie, John and I are planning to get married. How do you feel about it?” she said showing me a ring on her finger.

I nodded my head. He seemed okay, but something in the back of my head told me no.

“It’ll be great Charlie. Once you’re better the doctor said we can bring you home,” he said winking.

They stayed a few minutes longer and left. I felt lonely and frustrated. I couldn’t move my legs. It wasn’t fair. I wanted to be home playing on my summer vacation. I couldn’t talk. When mom left, I got angry. I screamed upsetting the other patients. The nurses tried to calm me down. I flailed my arms and knocked a vase of flowers off the small table. One of the nurses held me tight and allowed me to cry into her shoulder.

“I know it’s hard for a kid to deal with things like this. Just let it out.”

I cried until I fell asleep.

The next day, Andy and his mom showed up at the hospital. The nurse was talking to them in the hallway. Andy looked shocked. He approached me hesitantly.

“Hey Charlie. How are you feeling? We finished the tree house. When you get better we can play in it. Would you like that?” I nodded and tried to speak, but it came out garbled. He got closer and whispered in my ear, “Are you still from the future?”

I was confused. I shook my head no and made weird sounds. Andy jumped back with a shocked look on his face. I tried to speak but it come out in high pitched shrieks and squeals.

“Maybe we should leave. Looks like we’ve upset him,” his mom said.

I wanted Andy to stay. I tried to use my arms, but they just flopped about. Out in the hallway I heard Andy whisper to his mom.

“What’s wrong with Charlie? Is he retarded now?” My heart sank when I heard that.

“I’m not sure honey. I think we best be going. “Bye Charlie” I heard her say walking down the hallway. It was the last time I ever saw Andy.  

They finally took me home from the hospital. At first my mom was optimistic that I would get better someday. I never was able to go back to school. I just sat in my room. They treated me like a baby. I had to wear a diaper. I had to be washed and have my butt wiped and had to be fed. There wasn’t anything I could do on my own. My mom would wheel me outside sometimes, but it was never very fun. When John was with mom he seemed charming and funny, but I discovered his true nature when he volunteered to watch me alone for the first time.

Not long after Mom and John got married, John volunteered to watch me on a Sunday afternoon. John said it was a waste of money to keep paying a caretaker when he was living there. While Mom was at work, John called his buddies over to watch football. At first all seemed fine, but as they continued to drink, John got loud and boastful. During a commercial one of his buddies asked what was wrong with me. I tried to answer, but the words came out all jumbled. The men started to laugh.

“Yeah, this here is Charlie the turnip. He got in a bad accident this past summer and now he ain’t nothing but a babbling idiot. Ain’t that right Charlie?”

“Yoosh ttt caaaadh tttttahhhht ttah mmaaagggh llokkat,” came out of my mouth instead of, “You can’t talk to me like that.”

The men burst into hysterical laughter.

“What the fuck! Is he retarded?” said the younger guy named Billy

“Pretty much, he grunts when he’s hungry and grunts when he needs to shit. Have to clean him like a baby,” said John laughing.

“That’s messed up,” said a balding man with a big belly they call Rick.

“Oh fuck, don’t I know it. I kept telling my wife that he’d be better off in an institution where they can take care of invalids like him, but she wouldn’t have no part in it. Isn’t that right turnip head?”

I turned my head away. I was terrified and shocked at the way he treated me in front of his friends. From that moment on I didn’t feel safe. I kept quiet all the rest of the afternoon. I had shit myself, but didn’t utter a sound. I didn’t want John to touch me.

One of his buddies noticed the smell and said, “Jesus, John, smells like Turniphead has shit himself.”

John groaned and reluctantly wheeled me into the bathroom. “Damn it! Why couldn’t you just die? You’re just a worthless parasite, a shittin’ machine that we’re gonna half-ta take care of for the rest of your life. I’m gonna do my best to convince your mom to have you put in some sort of institution,” he said ripping my clothes off. He tossed me into a cold metal tub and poured cold water on me. He yanked me up by one arm as he scrubbed me clean. I shivered in the cold water. At one point he pushed my head under the water and told me I would be better off dead.

Once he cleaned and dressed me, he stuck me back in a far corner of the room and told me to be quiet.

By the time mom got home I tried to tell her what had happened, but couldn’t communicate. I babbled and spat. Tears ran down my face.

“John, what’s wrong with Charlie?”

“Oh he had a little temper tantrum because he didn’t want us watching the game.”

“Shhhtttt, shhtttt, mmmaaah ghaaaaahh shhhhttt! Hheeeshl lllllahhhgn.” I tried to say shit, shit he’s lying. I flailed my useless arms and bobbed my head.

“What are you trying to say sweetie?” she said.

I pouted and shit myself making a noise.

“Oh honey, were you trying to tell us you needed to go to the bathroom?”

I rolled my eyes and moaned. John smiled and winked at me. I realized I had lost and that my life would soon be a living hell with no chance of escape.

In June of 1958 my mom gave birth to my brother Rodger. At first it was a time of great joy for my family. Even John had mellowed a bit. They included me in the event and let the baby rest in my arms. This brief period of happiness did not last long, because John was not a patient man.

On Rodger’s first birthday, John brought home a beagle puppy. He announced that all boys should have a dog. But John was very much a man of the times. He grew up believing that men were the head of the household and a woman’s place was in servitude to her husband. It also meant that children were to be seen and not heard.

One day in late fall when John came home from work, he barked at my mom because supper wasn’t ready. That was pretty normal for him to yell. He sat down in his favorite chair and read the paper. My wheelchair was parked in a corner of the room out of John’s way. For the most part John ignored me as if I were a piece of furniture. I liked it that way.

On this one particular night, my little brother was playing with Barnie. Being that John is not a patient man, he never bothered to house train our new dog and the puppy shat on the floor. He put his paper down and sniffed the air. He looked at me disapprovingly.

“Charlie, did you shit yourself?”

I shook my head no. He stood up and saw a pile of dog poop on the floor. Rodger was playing in it. John ran over and grabbed him.

“Oh fuck no! Emily get in here. Rodger has shit all over him.”

Mom walked in and John handed my brother to her. He ran over to Barnie who cowered in the corner. He snatched him up and rubbed his nose in the shit. He dropped the dog on the floor and kicked him hard. Barnie let out a yelp and then growled.

John yelled, “Come here you miserable little bastard and started kicking Barnie over and over. I watched in horror as he lay motionless. Mom ran over to him and picked up his lifeless body.

“John, I think you killed him!”

“The little bastard deserved it,” he huffed. He sat back down in his chair and picked up the paper. “So when is supper gonna be ready? Don’t worry, I’ll bury the mutt in the back yard.”

Mom took Rodger and cleaned him up with tears in her eyes. At this point, I realized what this man was capable of doing. I lived in fear of his wrath.

As time passed, John became more cruel. I was confined to a dark corner of the living room. Mom tended to me, but John ignored me while mom was at home. He treated my mom badly calling her a stupid cunt, belittling her in front of his drinking buddies and even threatened to punch her at times, but never physically abused her in front of his friends. He waited to do that after they left.

As Rodger grew older, he was punished a lot for little things like leaving his toys on the floor, or not eating his dinner. John could be charming to his friends, but he didn’t have patience for children or pets.

When John’s friends came over, John would make fun of me calling me a lamp. He’d put a lampshade on my head. He’d call me a worthless vegetable. His friends would get a laugh at my expense. I learned to keep quiet. The bad part is that, he would get Rodger to hit me, or poke me with a stick. He was training Rodger to be cruel.

As time went by people came to visit me less and less. I hated my life. I grew bitter, cold and wallowed in my self pity. My legs had withered to bony thin sticks of flesh. I had no muscle mass and got flabby.

In 1966 just after I had turned 21, my mom had talked with me about sending me to live in a nursing home. She said she was getting too old to care for me by herself, but I think the real reason was because John told her that he didn’t want me living there. I was deeply depressed and hated the idea of being in a nursing home. Endless days upon days spent mostly alone in bed, with only my mom to feed and change me. Soon I wouldn’t even have her. I started to have fantasies of suicide, but wasn’t sure how I could do it. I had made several suicide attempts in the past, but was unsuccessful. They just assumed I was having a temper tantrum.

One day I noticed some pain killers left on the table beside my bed. She said she was going to the store and would be back later. I thought now was my chance. I tried to reach them but couldn’t. I leaned as far over as I could and then I found myself falling but reached for the wheelchair pulling it on top of me. I knocked over the pills with me when I fell. As I lay there on the floor I saw the pill bottle and strained to reach it. It kept rolling just out of my grasp. I gathered strength and reached the bottle, opening the lid with my teeth. One by one, I put them in my mouth. I was trapped in the overturned wheel chair. Soon I started to feel dizzy. “Ahhh this is it.” Sleep came on me slowly and I just faded away.

The world returned and I found myself standing there in the dark beside the building among the garbage and the rats. The hideous creature that lay on the dirty pavement looked into my eyes and smiled. At that moment we knew each other. I felt sorrow and love for him.  I was him and he was me for while. As it lay there partially attached to that old crate, the thin bony man with the jester hat pulled himself from the crate. As I watched, its withered body changed, gaining strength as it stood tall before me. No longer looking like a creature, but a young handsome man who shone with a golden light. He looked around and smiled, “Thank you Travis. I’d forgotten who I was. You brought me back and now I can move on. I once was a man named Charlie Franklin, but now I’m more than that.” He turned and faced the road heading east. I saw him walking away down the sidewalk in front of the Post Office, and then, like a whisper, he was gone.